Dear Narb,

Saw you splitting wood the other day. You did wave and I thank you for that, but then you bared your teeth at me, which I found a bit disconcerting. I didn’t see or smell any fear or anger on you, so it must be a human trait that I’m unfamiliar with. When you figure out how to do it, maybe you can find this talking place and let me know what that’s all about. (My suggestion is that you study up on what you call the pineal gland.) In the meantime, I’ll ask around. There’s a dog I know who might have a clue. They know you guys a lot better than you know them. You don’t really get how tight that bond is.

I think the fundamental problem with you humans is one of arrogance. You have taken your logic god and your opposable thumbs and scaled new heights in arrogance. I know this will probably come as a shock to you, but you humans are not the crown of creation. You are probably an accident, and might not even be here if it weren’t for dogs, but I don’t know that, really. It just seems to me that you have an obese sense of self-importance. We’re all on this planet together. Ask any creature. That’s how it works. We’re all part of a cosmic weaving that will continue long after you guys ruin it for yourselves and all the milk-dependent creatures. And don’t forget the plant people. More on that later.

So long for now. I think you should exercise your humility. It is woefully out of shape.

Your pal,
Buddy